Wednesday, October 1, 2008


In 1621, the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast which is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies. This harvest meal has become a symbol of cooperation and interaction between English colonists and Native Americans. Although this feast is considered by many to the very first Thanksgiving celebration, it was actually in keeping with a long tradition of celebrating the harvest and giving thanks for a successful bounty of crops. Native American groups throughout the Americas, including the Pueblo, Cherokee, Creek and many others organized harvest festivals, ceremonial dances, and other celebrations of thanks for centuries before the arrival of Europeans in North America.

I can assure you my Thanksgiving while moderately enjoyable was nothing like the above.

My daughter and I put together a fabulous salad, that was our contribution to the festivities, well that and a beautiful bouquet of Roses and a couple bottles of Champagne...

We mad our famous salad with peaches (preferably donut/ufo) , fresh buffalo mozzarella, prosciutto, pecans, sun dried tomatoes, Sicilian olives, shallots, fresh field greens, drizzle some high end virgin olive oil and some aged balsamic on this mix and wow you will be the hit of the party...

We left for the festivities, Tara following me in her car. She had an exit plan, as previously mentioned I did not.

We arrived to a house full of people we didn't know, Fancy was going crazy in the kitchen, the house had horn-o-plenty everywhere.  Her son was on the couch watching football, his girlfriend and her parents were in the yard.  Her daughter was making cosmo's...hmmm like mother like daughter.  Her daughter had a two of her friends there.  Then there was Nancy's friend from New York (damn what was her name) and her boyfriend.  The one's that had the Armenian cocktail party...

Tara quickly mixed in, she makes me so proud in public settings.  She is so very personable and extremely intelligent, just like her dad LOL.  She can charm the rattle from a baby's hand or from a snakes tail, doesn't matter. 

I went into the kitchen with the salad and showed Nancy, asked her what I could do to help.  She asked me to check the table settings to make sure they were ok....oh shit I forgot the champagne...back out to the car I went.  By the time I came back she was in the dining room checking the table settings,  I apologized put the champagne in the fridge and made my way to the sink.  I started cleaning up what was there and FANCY gave me a little hug from behind, "your always doing the right thing" she said.  Was this coming together again?  She had me taste the gravy, hmmmm...(not bad) oh that's so good I said.  She had me check the turkey, oh it really good I told her (oh my that is going to be dry I thought).  I quickly cleaned the sink full of pots, pans and what not.  Nancy asked me to go mingle at that point and I was eager to do so.

I went in the backyard where my daughter was holding court, she was in the center of the crowd answering question.  I love my Tara, she has so many qualities that I would have wanted her to have, why can't she clean her room...oh well that is what the housekeeper is for I guess? I joined the fray and even did a little back up for my vegetarian, right wing, animal activist, women's liberation, pro choice and most importantly to me a huge supporter of the less fortunate kid...god I love her.  The Republican Yorba Linda crowd was wowed by the father daughter team.  We were spectacular and that is an understatement.

The dinner bell sounded and off we went to the table.  I was seated at the head of the table, wow I thought this is just a little odd.  Everyone loved the salad, they kept eating the the turkey came out, as the stuffing came out, as all the sides came out.....uh oh..Nancy started looking at me as if I did something wrong...we forged on...everyone finally started enjoying the meal for what it was...I excused myself and went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of champagne, I called for Jennifer (Nancy's daughter) she found the glasses.  We made our way back in and I proposed a toast to our hostess...She cried...oh dear, that was not my intention.  It was a simple toast, thanking her for bringing us together and working so hard that we might enjoy our Holiday....and she cried...I was dumbstruck.  I thought for a moment, she really does have feelings, maybe?

Things turned rather quickly when Robert spilled a glass of wine during dessert.  The beautiful table cloth, the white carpeting and FANCY's pants now had red wine all over them.  She just wanted a simple, I am sorry mom.  It turned into a bit of a screaming match...people started to exit from the dining room.  Jennifer sided with her brother, Nancy was distraught.  I came to her side, I was not going to let this happen.  The "kids" told me that they liked me and that they didn't understand what I was doing with their mother...I was fucking pissed (mainly because I didn't know) because I wasn't going to let this happen on thanksgiving.  Tara quickly joined in, she and somehow she made the peace...oh my an 18 year old finds the sense to deflate the situation, how does that happen. (such a proud dad, why can't she do her own laundry)

Slowly but surely everyone started to leave, I was very sad when my daughter left.  It was finally just Nancy and Jim again.  I helped clean the entire mess, every dish, every ashtray, eventually her house was as it was the first and every time I had ever scene it immaculate.  We sat on the couch, I told her how nice the day had been and thanked her for having my tiny family.  I kissed her and thanked her again, she looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me. OH DEAR LORD NO....(we had never addressed the phone call).  I told her that I while i did so much enjoy my time with her I was not going to tell her that I loved her just to say it, that I need to feel it.  She said she understood, she got up and started packing me my to go plate.  Things turn on a dime, so I have been told.  Anyone got change for a quarter?

I was driving home in a matter of moments.....was that my exit strategy? I was listening to my heart for a change, I was being honest, I was going to sleep alone. (so be it)

only two dates you will love, the other you will totally love...



Charmaine said...

I don't love any of your dates with fancy because you keep trying to make her the bad guy.

Grown woman to grown man, we both know what really happened.

At least Fancy was honest. She declared her love. If you did not feel the same, as a man, you had a moral obligation to dissavow her of her misconception.

Instead, you allowed Tara to be the man in the family. You made her amuse the guests of your lover.

You owe Tara an apology.

100 points for Tara. Zero for her father.

Make it up to her.

JIMSIGHT said...

one- I did apologize to my daughter, I have raised her for 19 years and I get how to be a dad. Thanks for your infinite wisdom on the subject though.

two- I told Nancy exactly how I felt, its in the blog.

Yes I did not need to let this go this far, I could have ended it sooner, I think I may have mentioned that I was not handling the situation well, oh maybe a couple hundred times.

Once again I must bow to your expertise in the realtionship world. Sheesh..

P.O.M. said...

Wow, sounds like a GOOD Thanksgiving in my family - no "fuck you's", no grandparents in tears, screaming. Definately a success in my book. ha ha.

I like hearing your perspective on dating - men and women think so differently. Can't wait for the rest.

Spicy Latina said...

Holidays bring the best family drama! Love it! Hurry it up, I've been waiting to see how this ends.

JIMSIGHT said...

Congrats on the sub 4, amazing.

I am hurrying...