NOVEMBER RAIN

I MUST BE MISSING SOMETHING, SERIOUSLY I MUST.

Between the time of my return from our/my/Fancy's Vegas trip and my departure for Montreal, I only saw the FANCY one once. It was supposed to be an uneventful and early evening spent at her house. I had made some stuffed banana peppers (with italian sausage, good parm and some wild mushrooms) complemented them with a nice San Marzano Marinara Sauce and a delightful side of Spaghetti Squash, I packed it all up and proceeded to play meals on wheels. Zoom Zoom to Yorba Linda I go. I stopped at the liquor barn and picked up a bottle of Chianti to top the meal off.

Nancy was very impressed with the food. While we dined we chatted about her week of hair appointments, her sore wrists, her friends from NY, I tried on several occasion to inject a few current event topics but to no avial. Suddenly (at least to me) and quite out of the blue we were discussing how upset she was with me. That she was extremely hurt over the whole Las Vegas trip. SAY WHAT? Her Brooklyn accent was once again not only noticeable but was getting stronger by the second, "you acted like you where glad I wasn't there" (she did not just say that), "then you didn't apologize after your smart ass call from that Emeril place". All at once I was having a very hard time focusing, my temples were throbbing like I had a little drummer boy using them as a snare drum. I felt like I was the dog in one of my favorite Doonesbury Cartoon, what humans say vs what dogs hear. It shows a women talking to her dog, she is reasoning with the dog of course and then it shows what the dog hears,(blah blah blah blah). Again I could feel myself leaving my body and rising above to watching myself lean forward was it to possibly better discern what was being said, or was it to understand why it was being said, hell I don't know. Just as I started to come back into the conscious realm of understanding it was over.

Whatever that droning noise that was coming out of her mouth was, had ended. Then just as suddenly NANCY told me that she was going to forgive me and that I just needed to make sure and call her more often when I am traveling. Bam I was in the twilight zone, another quick shift "Are you going to watch Dancing With the Stars with me?" were the next words out of her mouth.......I felt like I had just been pistol whipped then lobotomized, what was in that Chianti. I told FANCY that I had an early conference call (the truth)and that it was going to be a very long week(the truth), and finally that I really needed to get home and spend some time with my daughter before going away.(not so much the truth, Tara was in Santa Rosa at my sisters)

A simple kiss goodnight and I was out the door, still a trifle dazed and confused. During the drive home I started wondering in earnest what my exit strategy would be, should I have an exit strategy...did I really have to do the whole Thanksgiving thing with her and her kids and my kid and her friends, would it be better to cancel? More importantly I started wondering if I really wanted to be alone again, for me a scary thought that I had not really considered since we entered into a committed and sexual relationship...son of a bitch...my head hurts.

Montreal was a welcome relief indeed, there was time to regroup and gather my thoughts, share fine French meals with peers that understand how I tick, but most importantly at the end of each day to be just be alone. To try and remember how I used to love to be alone. There was a time in my life when just being me was plenty and I was trying to get to that place again.

I think I mentioned it before but if you have never been to Montreal go...just go...Old Montreal is beautiful, the people are friendly, it helps to speak some French.

Oui Charmaine, le garçon de piscine parle plusieurs langues couramment et a aussi pris des leçons dans la danse de bal.

Should you want to try an exquisite French meal in Old Montreal, I suggest Toque without a doubt one of the finest places I have ever had the pleasue of feasting.

Le foi gras est incroyable, le service chaud et suffocant. Le Prix français fondamental sans tient barricadé.

Le Garçon de Piscine Très Désolé a été perdu en France un moment.

So I spent the week enjoying me, nothing wrong with that, I kind of started to like me again...I called Fancy regularly, minded my p's and q's. Tried my best not to tell her what a great time I was having, yes I said all the things she wanted to hear, well almost. She told me she missed me and was glad I was coming home, I told her I missed her, she told me that she loved me, I told her that I missed her...INSERT AWKWARD PAUSE HERE. I followed with an I will call you when I get into L.A. good night Nancy talk to you soon.

The flight home was restless.... I keep trying to ignore what is happening and try to hypnotize myself into believing that I am just having a good time with this woman and that things will work out somehow, then buzzzzzz another fly jumps in the ointment.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, only a couple dates left....sorry for delaying this but hey no one was sorrier than me for having the last few dates....so lets suffer through them together, shall we.