Monday, September 22, 2008



Between the time of my return from our/my/Fancy's Vegas trip and my departure for Montreal, I only saw the FANCY one once. It was supposed to be an uneventful and early evening spent at her house. I had made some stuffed banana peppers (with italian sausage, good parm and some wild mushrooms) complemented them with a nice San Marzano Marinara Sauce and a delightful side of Spaghetti Squash, I packed it all up and proceeded to play meals on wheels. Zoom Zoom to Yorba Linda I go. I stopped at the liquor barn and picked up a bottle of Chianti to top the meal off.

Nancy was very impressed with the food. While we dined we chatted about her week of hair appointments, her sore wrists, her friends from NY, I tried on several occasion to inject a few current event topics but to no avial. Suddenly (at least to me) and quite out of the blue we were discussing how upset she was with me. That she was extremely hurt over the whole Las Vegas trip. SAY WHAT? Her Brooklyn accent was once again not only noticeable but was getting stronger by the second, "you acted like you where glad I wasn't there" (she did not just say that), "then you didn't apologize after your smart ass call from that Emeril place". All at once I was having a very hard time focusing, my temples were throbbing like I had a little drummer boy using them as a snare drum. I felt like I was the dog in one of my favorite Doonesbury Cartoon, what humans say vs what dogs hear. It shows a women talking to her dog, she is reasoning with the dog of course and then it shows what the dog hears,(blah blah blah blah). Again I could feel myself leaving my body and rising above to watching myself lean forward was it to possibly better discern what was being said, or was it to understand why it was being said, hell I don't know. Just as I started to come back into the conscious realm of understanding it was over.

Whatever that droning noise that was coming out of her mouth was, had ended. Then just as suddenly NANCY told me that she was going to forgive me and that I just needed to make sure and call her more often when I am traveling. Bam I was in the twilight zone, another quick shift "Are you going to watch Dancing With the Stars with me?" were the next words out of her mouth.......I felt like I had just been pistol whipped then lobotomized, what was in that Chianti. I told FANCY that I had an early conference call (the truth)and that it was going to be a very long week(the truth), and finally that I really needed to get home and spend some time with my daughter before going away.(not so much the truth, Tara was in Santa Rosa at my sisters)

A simple kiss goodnight and I was out the door, still a trifle dazed and confused. During the drive home I started wondering in earnest what my exit strategy would be, should I have an exit strategy...did I really have to do the whole Thanksgiving thing with her and her kids and my kid and her friends, would it be better to cancel? More importantly I started wondering if I really wanted to be alone again, for me a scary thought that I had not really considered since we entered into a committed and sexual relationship...son of a head hurts.

Montreal was a welcome relief indeed, there was time to regroup and gather my thoughts, share fine French meals with peers that understand how I tick, but most importantly at the end of each day to be just be alone. To try and remember how I used to love to be alone. There was a time in my life when just being me was plenty and I was trying to get to that place again.

I think I mentioned it before but if you have never been to Montreal go...just go...Old Montreal is beautiful, the people are friendly, it helps to speak some French.

Oui Charmaine, le garçon de piscine parle plusieurs langues couramment et a aussi pris des leçons dans la danse de bal.

Should you want to try an exquisite French meal in Old Montreal, I suggest Toque without a doubt one of the finest places I have ever had the pleasue of feasting.

Le foi gras est incroyable, le service chaud et suffocant. Le Prix français fondamental sans tient barricadé.

Le Garçon de Piscine Très Désolé a été perdu en France un moment.

So I spent the week enjoying me, nothing wrong with that, I kind of started to like me again...I called Fancy regularly, minded my p's and q's. Tried my best not to tell her what a great time I was having, yes I said all the things she wanted to hear, well almost. She told me she missed me and was glad I was coming home, I told her I missed her, she told me that she loved me, I told her that I missed her...INSERT AWKWARD PAUSE HERE. I followed with an I will call you when I get into L.A. good night Nancy talk to you soon.

The flight home was restless.... I keep trying to ignore what is happening and try to hypnotize myself into believing that I am just having a good time with this woman and that things will work out somehow, then buzzzzzz another fly jumps in the ointment.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, only a couple dates left....sorry for delaying this but hey no one was sorrier than me for having the last few lets suffer through them together, shall we.

Fondue (who knew) and Leaving Las Vegas

Another Two Date Collage


Quite possibly the best date I ever had with FACNY NANCY, I would have never thought that in a milion years going in but it was a really nice evening.

Of course I was looking for something a little different, its what I do, I am a planner and a pleaser what can I say. Trust me this has been no easy feat to keep dates fresh with the Fancy One, her scope of adventure is quite seafood, no Thai, no this, no that, no no no no no ....get the picture.

I thiink I was reading OC Weekly or something when I ran across and ad for "The Melting Pot"....hmmmmm now cheese is something that Nancy really does like, and she eats steak, chocolate...I thought it might be fun if nothing else.

Set the date and did my usual, picked up the flowers and hit the highway for good ole Yorba Linda. It was a little misty out so some fondue should be fun. Got to her house, took the dog out to "Make" while she finished getting ready. She came down the steps and I thought, wow we are dressed alike, nice jeans, white shirts, black leather not biker ones...we had been told that we made an attractive couple a few times, now we were dressing like one...LOL>..

Off we went to the Melting Pot...there is one in Brea. The booths are really comfy, high backs and not those leather or pleather ones either. Not sure if I mentioned this but I really prefer to sit on the same side of the table as my date if possible. This is the perfect place for that. We looked at the menu. I ordered a bottle of wine, Fancy got a (yes you guessed it) Cosmo or some variation on one.

We had the " The Big Night Out", it comes with everything you could want, the cheese fondue, lobster, filet all kinds of good stuff...I think you have like three choices of different combos and a couple choices of styles, I do remember we had Coq au Vin. The food was really good, for some reason I was surprised, just wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was. We made our way thru the Cheese fondue and it was very relaxed and fun...the entree fondue came and by then we were feeding each other and taking kiss breaks (PDA's are way ok with me). By the time we got to the Dessert Fondue I was honestly more relaxed as far as being a couple goes as I had ever been with Fancy...maybe the stars were aligned or something but it all just worked. I think we spent between 2 and 3 hours in total at the place including looking into having her daughters birthday party there.

She invited me to spend the night on the way back to her house. I was going to ask her why she waits until after the meal to do that, I never pack to go to her house, it just doesn't seem right to me without being invited...I stayed over, made breakfast for us in the morning wore her son's clothes again. She wanted me to stay and go out to dinner with some of her friends. Told her had I known a little in advance maybe I could have arrnaged it but I have no clothes and already made plans with my kid to have dinner so as nice as the night had been sorry but I just can't.

Leaving (for) Las Vegas

We had one date between the Fondue place and this debacle...the Brea was a fun night, Kathleen Madigan was the comic (very funny) but Fancy got a little sideways drinky pooh wise, she went on a rant back at her house regarding her Lawsuits, LAWSUITS??????....yep, did I tell you she was a parralegal, well she had some sort of disability, wrongful termination, pain and suffering, hey I am from NY gimme some God Damn money lawsuit going against the firm she had worked for. Then there was the wrongful death/malpractice suit that had just wraped up (something to do with when her mother passed away) and one last one against husband NUMBER FOUR regarding a shared property or somthing...HUSBAND NUMBER FOUR...WTF..

By this time all the plans had already been made for las Vegas, the flights and room booked and the Fondue night had been really nice so off we go...

Drove to her house to pick her up...even though we were leaving from Long Beach. I was halfway to her house when the phone rang. She was really sick and wouldn't be able to go, went on and on about how sorry she was about it, I explained that it was ok. I understand that people get sick and that it is not there fault.

Then she asked me what I was going to do? When I told her that I was going to get off the freeway turn around and go to the Airport....She sounded stunned that I was going to go without her. I reminded her that I had a meeting in the morning and she asked me if I couldn't just reschedule the meeting, she saw no sence in me flying up there for a quick morning meeting and flying home..

"I don't want to reschedule the meeting" I told her "and I am going to stay for the entire weekend as planned." (she had a cold for gods sake). "I will call you from Vegas, hope you feel better"

Wow...did that really just happen, didn't we talk the night before, she was totally fine and excited to go. Did she really expect me to just call the whole thing off.... and do what?

After checking in I called Nancy to tell her how really nice the room was, that the flowers and martini makings were sitting by the jacuzzi as ordered and all that was really missing was her, I was trying to be nice. I really was. She said she was sorry again and I told her not to worry, that there is always a next time. (maybe not for her but yes there is always a next time). I called down to the desk and asked them if I could change rooms. It would be silly spending this kind of scratch on a room for just me. They were very accomodating and that they would move in the AM...

After my meeting I called to see how Nancy was doing. She said she felt much better and wanted to know if I could get her a flight for that night...I actually tried..what an idiot I am sometimes. It was Halloween weekend and everything was booked...then she told me that she would drive up..,I told her that I had already switched rooms and that this just was getting crazy, finally she just accepted the idea that Vegas was not in the cards (so to speak) for her this weekend.

After Dinner at Emirl's ( 250$ on a meal for one, gotta say it was fine). called Fancy to tell her how good the place was, she actually started getting angry and asked if I had called just to rub it in...What?...I was calling to see how you felt, and to let you know that I was still going ahead with the plans I made so that you wouldn't feel guilty...not to rub it in..I really wanted to hang up on her, but managed to just exit the conversation cordially, told her I would call her when I got home and that I hope she felt better.....she still sounded angry...hmmmmm

For the next day and a half I gambled, ate and drank all by myself..oh the horror.

I had a couple more business trips coming up between then and Thanksgiving, one to Savanah and another to Montreal in November doubt I will be asking her to join me.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


1963 was the year I turned seven, I still have many memories of random events from that year. I of course didn't know it then but it would be a year that would shape small pieces of the man I would become.

Like Peter Pan I tend to retreat into memories from time to time, it gives me solace especially when my own mortality rears its ugly head. I still remember gathering around the television to watch the stage production of Peter Pan staring Mary Martin, it was only on television once a year, for me that day was magical. From time to time I am still lucky enough as to find my Never Never Land.

I held my Uncle Jim's hand in the ICU last night, I was telling him stories of how smart I always thought he had looked in his hat when I was a little boy. Men always wore hats with their suits in the early 60's, at least the men that I knew. They were so much more convincing than other men, the men in hats I mean.

The Family
Pope John died that spring , that is all I can remember as far as details of the event, but I will always remember the Sunday afterward. My entire family met at Holy Rosary Church for Mass. I dressed in my best little man suit, complete with my little man hat, I knew that this must be very important. The only meaningful recollections of the event for me were the looks on the faces in the crowd, they were so interesting and yet disturbing at the same time. I had no true understanding of what the Pope symbolized and therefore made the leap that it actually did not concern me, so I spent my time studying the crowd. The faces, looking at all the faces, especially the faces of my family, the infinite sadness etched into my grandmother's face, I used to think her face was made of wax, her skin was so smooth.  The collective stern and stoic gazes given by my uncles, my aunts and my parents, most of all I remember the confusion and disinterest shown by most of my cousins. 

Had I been born with any artistic ability at all it this would make one hell of a painting.

Little Jimmy (hey that's me)

Very early that same summer we made our big move to California, school had just ended and we would shortly be embarking on what my mother kept assuring me was to be the adventure of a lifetime. Her assurances were to no avail, my little heart was broken, I was leaving my friends, my school, the Pittsburgh Pirates, my cousins, aunts, uncles, Grandma Boyle but most of all I would be leaving my beloved Nana and Dickie Bird.  I can still feel the unfairness, it made no sense to leave your family, I just don't understand. I was to learn that summer that heartbreak is very real, that it is possible to be so sad that you don't get hungry, to cry so long that you have no tears, to scream and yell until you are blue in the face and yet in the end your heart is still broken. 

The Nation

Late that fall we were sent home from school on that fateful November morning, President Kennedy had been shot. I remember the slow almost snail paced walk home from school, I remember the toes on my black high top tennis shoes, the scuffing noise my heals made as I refused to lift my feat. I stared straight down as I walked the entire length of Woodbridge Ave. I wasn't sure why, it somehow seemed the right thing to do. We watched the news as a family that night, I think it was Walter Cronkite that described it as the end of innocence, I had no idea what he was talking about, I had not ever seen my parents look so helpless. I remember later that week was my heart pounding in my chest while we watched the funeral and saw a little boy, a boy who at that time seemed so much younger than me salute his fallen father, he still looked very innocent to me.

My aunt Jeannette woke me gently, "Jimmy, you have been here all night" "Why don't you go back to the house and get some rest?" "Uncle Jim is doing fine right now, really he is".

Five hours had passed since I had started thinking about men in hats and Peter Pan, my hand was still firmly grasped around my Uncle Jim's. I wonder if he went with me back to 1963, I will have to ask him when he is feeling better, yes when he is feeling better.

I know a place where dreams are born, and time is never at hand. 
It's not on any chart you must find it in your heart, never never land.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


Just in case anyone notices that nothing new is coming up....I am in Pittsburgh on a family emergency....hope to be back by early next week....not much in the mood for rehashing thing right now...sorry..

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


"Dead Wrong" Went and saw the opening night of this little comedy very funny....a comedy about a NY Italian Family that buries it's families members in the backyard. Things get crazy from there, get the picture.

I have been a long time supporter of the Long Beach Playhouse and get invited on occasion to events like this. It is usually myself, my guest and 150 Long Beach Blue Hair's. Super sweet folks. It is such a cute place, they have a champagne reception with a crappy buffet, the food always goes along with the theme of the play...the Blue Hairs just love it. They act as if the actors are all big time starts too...I just adore old people and the theatre, this is perfect combo.

While shredding some bills I came across a letter from the playhouse, how had I miss this. It wasn't one of the regular mailers and did not appear to be the standard cry for funds package. I tore it open and it was an invitation for two to the opening night of the earlier mentioned play, and the date was holy cow today. Wow it was 3:00PM on Saturday and I really had not planned on doing anything. I called the "Fancy" one and asked if she wanted to go, she said "sure" with that Brooklyn accent thing, it comes and goes...

I can finally almost even think of what Nancy looks like in between dates not entirely still ...very very strange. From the first glimpse of Joanne I never forgot what she looked like. I was wondering if I could describe Nancy to a police sketch artist well enough to have her arrested or not, I doubt it.

Nancy said she would be pressed for time, the Play Started at 7:30 and she had to get ready and drive all the way to Huntington so she had to run. I feel for women in general, I think they all are beautiful in there own special way, not sure why they feel they aren't.  

Fancy got to my house and that was the first time she met my daughter Tara, Fancy walked to the family room and saw Tara standing in the kitchen, she was so startled by Tara's presence that it may as well have been Vlad the Impaler. While I fight tooth and nail with my daughter seemingly on a daily basis, I will say that she is twice as mature as both of Fancy's young adults put together and she was very hospitable to Nancy, she even told her how nice it was to finally meet her and that she had been looking forward to meeting her for a while now, the whole nine yards. Well Tara left for adventures unknown a few minutes later and Nancy proceeded to slap me on the arm, not like some love tap either, like wham...then she yelled "Why didn't you tell me your daughter was home" Wow...guess I am used to her being here I blurted out. I could kind of understand but really not so much...

We made it to the show on time, and Nancy (being from Brooklyn and half Italian) just thought it was the funniest thing ever, for some reason however she wasn't really into chatting with the Blue Hairs after the show, I never could figure that out either. They are so cute, I love chatting them up, they have the best stories.

We stopped of on the way back to Casa Jimbo and had a cocktail at some place over in the Marina...the house band was playing one of my favorite songs,"Almost" by Elvis Costello a slow melodic jazz number and I asked her to dance, once again she declined saying no one else was was probably for the best, I had not even considered why I love the song so much these days.

Dickie Bird used to tell me, "Boy" ( just in case you don't know why I always am referring to myself and why my Nana referred to me as a boy, silly boy, or the boy all the time is because that is what Dickie called me...always...not my brother he was Don...I was The Boy) "Boy, you wouldn't ever worry about what everyone is thinking of you, if you would just realize how seldom they do" I don't think I have been self conscious in public settings since I was 10..thanks Dickie Bird.

We made it back to my house and I made espresso, we sat in the back yard and talked it was a really nice October night in HB...I have some really really tall Palms in my yard and they look great in the moonlight. Well we started talking about the night and ended up talking about why I a hadn't warned her that Tara would be home. Would she have dressed differently or brought a gun or what would have been different, I could not get an answer.

Conversation turned towards her family and we discussed her hatred of her sibling. Nancy told me of the time that her brother had injected his opinions and actually seemed to be taking contrary sides during her second divorce in Atlanta...ATLANTA.? SECOND DIVORCE? OK so what I thought was number two had now become number 3 in the blink of an eye, I asked her to continue, she told me that she was exhausted and still had to drive all the way back to YORBA LINDA (not sure if she was hinting at staying but)...well she had just met my kid for the first time and so no way in hell was she getting invited to stay...I mean I could have put her up in the guest room but the thought never occurred to me....

A quick kiss goodnight, and off she went. I had a business trip coming up in a couple weeks. Had to go to Vegas to audit a company on an acquisition I was working on, I thought hey maybe I will extend the trip though the weekend too, see if she wants to come...hmmmm....yeah that sounds good.

Later that night I put that Elvis Costello song on the stereo for another listen, I felt a tear roll down my cheek, I never saw it coming.

Water always finds the path of least resistance, even though sometimes it just seems like such a long way to go.

Almost blue
Almost doing things we used to do
There’s a girl here and she’s almost you
Almost all the things that your eyes once promised
I see in hers too
Now your eyes are red from crying
Almost blue
Flirting with this disaster became me
It named me as the fool who only aimed to be
Almost blue
It’s almost touching it will almost do
There’s a part of me that’s always true...always
Not all good things come to an end now it is only a chosen few
I’ve seen such an unhappy couple
Almost me
Almost you
Almost blue

Monday, September 15, 2008


Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shameIs lust in action, and till action, lustIs perjur'd, murd'rous, bloody, full of blame,Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,Enjoy'd no sooner but despisèd straight,Past reason hunted, and no sooner had,Past reason hated as a swallowed baitOn purpose laid to make the taker mad. . . .(shakespeare)

"Man's demise lye in his loins, while his heart has bounds, his mind has none". (priest)

Anyway you look at it, the whole sleeping with Fancy thing was not a great idea, not blaming her and not crucifying myself either, just saying at that moment in time I was already trudging down a path of utter confusion may as well make Jim's folly complete.

Ok so we are just about halfway thru with this, should we continue....oh sure why not.

We went to see the Greg Adams Band back at Spaghettini, great show..I have know Greg since way back in the Tower of Power days before he was a grammy winner, so when they play around his wife calls and asks if I want to come, Fancy thought this was really cool...giant name card on our table..the band acknowleding their friends in the crowd. She was chair dancing, I asked her if she wanted to dance and she was to embarrased because no one else who cares, you either want to dance or not, am I wrong? Is everyone really watching and if they are what do they do with the information.

I am sure there were some less eventful dates in between, I afterall at this point was in a "Relationship" fully commited to do whatever it was that I had no idea of what it was that I was doing, or something like that.

Fancy's Birthday was right around the corner, I thought it would be nice to take her somewhere, nothing to crazy its only been like 6 weeks at this point. So I invited her to spend her Birthday weekend with me at the Surf and Sand, we would eat at Splashes get massages trot around Laguna, maybe get the idea, a really relaxing weekend, sounds like fun right. So I call and ask her and SHE loves the idea, I book it and we are on. The next day she calls me and says that she changed her mind, she wants to cook and have her kids over for dinner. I told her that was fine with me afterall its was her birthday. I told her that I would come over and take her out to dinner for her Birthday on Friday....oh no she said, I want you to meet my kids...ah oh, that sounds a um uh great.....much better than the Surf and Sand thing.

Sunday was her actual I went over on Friday Night and threw a little surprise party, I don't need adult children of Fancy Nancy's stealing my thunder. I brought a movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's" with me, dinner from the Wild Artichoke where we had dined for our first real dinner date...I also brought a flourless chocolate cake, a day pass to Spa Gregory, Teuscher's Truffles and a card, nothing to sappy just a cute card.. She was very happy with her gifts as evidence that I graduated from the guest room that night.

I looked around trying to figure out what the big deal was, why we didn't come up here the last time, its nice...hey why is the dog in here? I am not sure about anyone else, but I don't do dogs in the bedroom unless sleeping is the only thing going on. Call me dogophobic or whatever but just not going down that I am not thank you very much, I ended up letting Lilly out of the room on several occasiosn between then and morning, kept wandering how she was getting back in....I think FANCY would have been just fine with her in the room(creeped me out a bit). I even got up and made us breakfast in the morning, she had some odd combinations of food in the fridge but enough to put together some feta omlettes with tomatoe and clamata olives..yum I love that combo.

I was starting to feel more comfortable with the situation, not so much internal struggling going on in my head, but still something was missing(hmm), I wasn't going to worry least not for now. Why rock the boat right.

The Birthday Roses were delivered on Saturday....she called and thanked me....asked me to come up a little earlier on Sunday if I could and help her get everything ready.. I agreed afterall it was her birthday why should she be doing all the prep.

When I got there her son Robert was sleeping on the couch, or sort of sleeping, nice that he could help her I thought. She made Chicken Parmesean, it was edible, that is all I am saying I made a cesear salad...Her daughter Jennifer arrived and started chruning out the "Cosmo's". Oh its a family thing I guess. Shortly after Jennifer's friend arrived, we had dinner and the kids made sport of Nancy the entire time, it verged on embarrasing, not sure what my place in this was so mildly uncomfortable. I popped the champagne that I brought and it took the edge off a bit.

Dinner mercifully ended, we did the cake that Nancy had made for herself...sheesh great kids. They left right after giving there mother a group gift, WTF is that about I wasn't like they pitched in and bought her a house or something...

I helped with the dishes, and she told me all about how rough her breakup with the father had been on the kids and that they still resented it a bit. I asked her when that was and she told me 20 years ago...(WHAT??) hmmmmm....I knew she had been divorced 5 years prior....I gotta start paying better attention. I need to call Hanna and get some better intel...

Still I ploded on, there is something to be said for having a comfort level established...not sure why that might be but we do tend to get used to what we have and that in some from is comfortable...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

230 OR BUST?

How I Met My Blogger

In all fairness I do have to write something about this, yes? 

I had some apprehensions when I first made the reservation at 230, you see my first date with the only woman I developed any real feelings for since my wife passed was also at 230 and I wasn't 100% sure if it would be creepy or not. IT WAS.

I know better than to think I would fall into a good parking spot, Laguna Beach 7ish...Forest Drive just not going to happen, but I am stubborn and so I circled the block twice before surrendering and cruising a couple streets over to find a spot, I parked got out and started walking over.  Just then zoom zoom, my date pulled up...we spotted each other at the same time.  She stopped and I showed her there was a spot right in front of me.

Charmaine has tried to tell me on a couple of occasions that she has aged 100 years since the photo that I have seen was taken,  she lied.  She popped out of her car and wow, she is a really gorgeous woman.  We started walking to the restaurant together and all of the sudden whoops her top came open.  I made a comment about wardrobe malfunction and she seemed to be oblivious to what I had said, I think she was busy trying to rescue her Bust from running free in Laguna Beach.  

We had arrived about 10 minutes early and the place was packed, I figured we would be standing on the street having a drink and get to talk for a moment, nope they seated us immediately. And  of course they seated us at the exact same table as my last date there, with Charmaine in the same chair that 00nancy had occupied in March, despite my best efforts I kept having thoughts about oonancy thru the whole night, thanks God you are a really funny dude sometimes.  (for the record 00nancy is not the same as Fancy Nancy) 

I am not sure but I think the manager started asking us how everything was before my ass hit the chair. It was so noisy I couldn't hear myself think.  My date was ever so busy arranging herself over and over (poor thing I felt bad for her), I am a gentleman and did not say a word about it. Do you have any idea how distracting having a beautiful woman arranging and rearranging her breasts in front of you all night while you try and have a conversation is? At the same time it was amusing to say the least, the other men in the place were enjoying it and that was for sure. 

We had dirty martini's and our meal was on the table before 7:30, seriously I felt like an old record being played on the wrong speed. I think the manager asked how everything was for the second time right as I was getting ready to take my first bite. I had to tell him to knock it off and slow down a little. 

Despite it all we forged on and finished our meals took a short but somewhat uncomfortable walk up and down Forest then straight to the cars, then a little hug and off she went.  I am a fairly attractive and confident guy, I gotta say I felt a bit intimidated and I am still not sure why.  Oh well Ces't le Vie.  

Certainly don't see romance on the horizon, just one of those not so much on the chemistry things.  In guy talk, that means she didn't seem interested in me at all, not in any way shape or form.

Hopefully I will still get to run some stairs or have an occasional meal with her she is a great gal..  Regarding my first opinion of her, the one where I said she was CHARMING, WITTY AND CUTE well they have changed a little, she is CHARMING WITTY AND BEAUTIFUL. 

Friday, September 12, 2008

How do you do, I see you've met my, Faithful handyman!

How I met my wife:

This one is for you Spicy, going to try and counter the venom after you read Ti Amo.

I came to California for my 21st Birthday, it was a gift from my parents.  I think they just were really thinking that maybe this way I wouldn't be throwing huge keg/pool parties at the house all summer but it only delayed the inevitable.

I had stayed in contact with a couple of my best friends from my one and only year of high school in California and so I had a place to stay and friends I had not seen in years and it was after all California YES it is ON...
The fellows lived at some apartment complex in Fullerton just off of Harbor called The Pine Tree, oh yeah tons of pines for sure. I hated it, all I wanted to do was to be at the beach and all they wanted to do was play volleyball at the apartments.  They were the kings of the sand (at the freaking apartments). Now not to toot my own horn HONK HONK, but I am a better than average athlete and played some VB in high school, so I found a partner and we kicked there King Asses all over the sand...Bump Set Spike...thank you very much...but enough of this dribble...
The guy that I that played with me, ended up being my best friend as the years rolled by like a broken down damn. He passed away one year before my wife did from a type of Cancer that usually only attacks teenagers, he always did refuse to grow up.  I Love you Steve, and I miss you beyond fucking words.
Steve asked me later that day if I had ever seen the Rocky Horror picture show, I told him I had but only once and it was in Boston (I tried to go to school in Bean town but found the fun to be way to distracting) and I was a little inebriated (the drinking age was 18 in Mass).  He told me that the whole Rocky horror scene was a cool or bitchin or some other term from the 70s, there was an old theatre in Fullerton called the Fox. They alternated between showing Harold and Maude and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I agreed of course not having a clue how that decision would change my life forever.
We got to the theatre and met some of Steve's friends, they told us they had met some chicks at the beach (why didn't we go to the beach I thought) and that the chicks were coming to hook up with them at the movies and then go partying with them.  At least that was the plan they had, little did any of us know that fate had other ideas. 

As the streams of Frankenfurter's and Brad's and Janet's and all the other characters paraded past on their way into the theatre I started to grow impatient and told Steve I was going in, just then his friend, what's his name is what I called him from that day forward yelled there they are, I turned to look, he was right well sort of...there SHE was, was much more like it....goose bumps on my arm right now, no kidding.  She walked right up to me, I looked at her and she had the biggest green eyes and was as Dickie Bird would say cute as a button, she looked right in my eyes and gave me the cutest Cheshire smile I have to this day ever seen in my life.  "Hi I'm Joanne" OH MY GOD was all I could think.  I of course stammered a bit and came up with the appropriate "Hi I'm Jim" and in an instant old what's his name jumped in between us and whisked her away in the blink of an eye. The next thing I remember was her turning and saying "you coming or what".  I realized that I must have been frozen in time for a few moments because they were at the door already and I was still a good 20 feet behind. I responded by trotting after her like a puppy bounding to anyone that calls. She turned again and looked at me and said "Hurry Up".

While the menagerie of The Rocky Horror was playing out in front of us with everyone laughing and throwing toast and shouting along, I was busy stealing glances at this adorable little stranger. It wasn't very long before she noticed that I kept staring, she would catch me and smile that smile, the butterflies would float in my stomach. How do I get rid of what's his name became my newest mission in life, as it turned out I never had to do a thing.  All of the sudden the lights came on and they announced that everyone had to get out of the theatre, apparently the fire dept and the police were there, the place was oversold, everyone was smoking weed and they were shutting it down.

In the confusion of the mass exodus the group was disjointed, I ended up side by side with Joanne and her friend Stephanie.  We made it thru the crowd to the street and started looking for the rest of the crew.  I asked her where she was from, "Ohio" well Pennsylvania really but I live in Ohio now".  "I just finished nursing school",  I kept asking her questions rapid fire as fast as I could, I wanted to find out where she was staying how long she was staying for but was interrupted by Steve and the others showing up. Their plan was to go get some beer and go back to their apartment,  out of nowhere Joanne looked right at me and said "what do you want to do Jim?" From that moment I loved when she said my name. I blurted out that I had just turned 21 and I wanted to go to a bar, some of Steve's friends weren't 21 yet and so they were insisting we go party at their pad.  Joanne said and I almost fell over. "I want to go to a bar, with Jim" "Right Steph, you said you wanted to go out, not in, right?".  Stephanie agreed with a resounding "If I wanted to go to an apartment party I would have stayed in Cleveland".  Off we went with the crew of guys standing mouths agape. We went to Angelo and Vince's, a cool Italian place right on Harbor, we drank wine and talked until the place closed, they drove me back to the apartments, the three of us in the front seat in her Dodge Dart, me in the middle. I still remember how soft her lips were when she gave me that first little kiss goodnight (with Stephanie sitting inches away). I got the phone number of where they were staying and called her the next morning, we went to the beach the that day, and the next, and everyday after until she left to go home, back to Ohio. It was the most fun I had ever had in my life and I wanted more.

The chase was on.

I have thanked Stephanie a million times for making that decision over the years, last weekend as a matter of fact on the phone.  She and Joanne were best friends to the bitter end, she still lives in Ohio but we speak often.  She stayed at my house for the entire three weeks that Joanne was home under Hospice care, she rubbed my shoulders while I cried and kissed my wife goodbye for the last time. (she reminded me that she had been there for the first kiss too) We laughed for a brief moment and tried to fight through the tears but they just kept coming.
I am convinced that all things happen for a reason, although I seldom know the reason at the time.  I forget this over and over,  but all I need to do is take a look at my life, and its all the evidence I need. 

Ti Amo and Menopause the Musical

One of my friends from the Pub that I play pool at told me one night about a Fancy Nancy book series, yes by this point all of my friends referred to her as "Fancy", I would get a call "Jim we are going to the angel game on Saturday are you in or are you doing something with "Fancy"?" or "How are things with you and Fancy going" any way I googled it and trust the laugh is certainly worth the effort.
Despite everything that had transpired to this point, I was still having fun and that seemed paramount at this point, but I still really didn't have a clue of what it was that I was trying to accomplish with this whole dating thing. Was I running to something or was I running from something?
I love live theatre Broadway to Community, started when I was in 5th grade. I was in a summer theatre group (Debbie Glover was joining so I did too), after a few days in I was hooked, ended up by the end of summer I was going to be in the High School Production of Oliver....not a principal just one of the orphans and also a member of Faigan's gang but still quite the coup for a soon to be 6th grader, and of course Debbie Glover became my first 6th grade sweetheart. She had fabulous hair. Wait a minute here boy did I jump the tracks or what....
So I get all the updates from all the local theatres, Laguna Beach Playhouse being one, I received the notice that they were doing a production of Menopause the Musical...if you get a chance go see it. Funny as hell....especially with an audience full of hot flashers. I got some tickets and called Fancy who by the way was one year my senior. She thought it sounded exciting and that date was set.
Normally I would have made dinner reservations somewhere around downtown Laguna but for some reason I decided to make reservations at Ti Amo (have the lamb oso bucco), I hadn't been for a while as with everything daughter loves Ti Amo, especially the Parmesan bowl that the Cesar comes in.
Honest to god, it was 108 in Yorba Linda when I arrived at her house, this time I brought Roses and the arrangement was spectacular and they were in a vase so she was at a total loss as to what she should do next...she just gave me a big hug and a kiss and said thank you. I never mentioned that her dog used to get so excited evey time I came over, her name was Lilly and she was really very cute, I am a sucker for a dog. Fancy turned to me and asked me if I would take Lilly out to "make" while she went to the restroom. "make"? who says that...well it was a term I heard numerous times in the weeks to come...come on lil lets go make. (snap out of it jim)
Off we went streaking towards the coast, I watched the external temperature fall...95..90..85, yes by the time we hit South Laguna it was a mere 82 degrees...nice...We were seated at my favorite table...well its more of a booth really but you get the breeze from the ocean and and can see out the window...ordered myself some Chianti and FANCY even changed it up and had pomegranate martini...whooohooo...things were changing. It was a nice relaxing meal the food is always yummy there, NANCY was sad that she was to full to have dessert, I told her I had that taken care of already, its a surprise.
We got to the theatre minutes before show time, but of course I have my secret parking spot, its the building adjacent to the playhouse, you have to pay a bit but zip its covered and you walk through an entry and right into the terrace area of the playhouse. The show was a total riot, FANCY was yelping and squeezing my arm and the rest of the audience was howling along I called them the Perry Menopausal Choir, the show only has four characters and the whole thing takes place in Bloomingdale's it is really cute. All the songs are baby boomer tunes with parody lyrics...
During intermission I got us some water while FANCY went to the ladies room, I got hit on, in a not so casual manner while waiting in line...really....had I had one foot in reality at that moment I would have taken the ladies number.
The show was over and I stop in the restroom and call The Ritz, order a souffle tell them I will be there in twenty minutes.(half chocolate, half granmarnie). We get to the car and start heading up PCH and I asked her if she was ready for dessert, her resounding yes made my plan seem like a real winner. We got to the Ritz, went in sat down and pop the souffle was on the table, now how smooth is that...I had a port and Fancy had a cosmo..go figure...
Regrettable things happen, I know that, I am after all a 52 year old man who has made his fair share of mistakes, has taken responsibility for them paid whatever the consequences were tried to learn my lesson and move on. I think I have done that but this was one of those times.
We got back to Fancy's house and she invited me in for "COFFEE" while the coffee was brewing we played some more of that kissy face thing and more and more and well.....she asked if I would like to go in the bedroom, I accepted the invitation. The funny thing was we went to her guest room, never did get an explanation on that, never asked though...
I am not going to laud the details here but this was the first woman I had been with other than my wife in forever and a day. It was very surreal and basically one of those crazy out of body experiences that you really only have few of in a lifetime. Long story short, I spent the night.
Well I awoke unsure if I had set the trap, fallen into the trap, if there was a trap at all, ...can I get a just get a cup of coffee and get the heck out of here, I think I need a shower and a brillo pad. I feel very confused, shouldn't I be doing some sort of a victory lap or a man dance or something...I am gong to be sick I think...wait a minute, calm down. Nobody killed anyone here, right? We are both adults twice over right? I shouldn't have to convince myself of anything right? This is all just good fun, right nobody is asking for any commitment are they?
I went to my car in the morning dressed in her son's high school gym trunks and t-shirt. He is 26 and live in S.D. (just in case you thought he was home or something). And my trunk wouldn't open. That's odd...I got in the car and it wouldn't start...oh damn the valet at the Ritz must have turned on the lights without the battery is dead....Crap....its like over 100 degrees already and I have a dead battery in Yorba Linda. I go back in the house and ask FANCY if she can pull her car out of the garage so I can jump mine, guess what her car is in the Shop...she was getting her windshield replaced. I called AAA it was Sunday and it ended up taking them an hour and a half to get there.
More and more tragic, funny, something...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

IN A NEW YORK STATE OF MIND aka the Cocktail Party

Don't really feel like doing this today, but have a conference call going right now and I am BORED, these people just rehash the same questions month after month.

We gotta get out of this place!
If it's the last thing we ever do ...
We gotta get out of this place,
'cause girl, there's a better life ... for me and you

Ok, not that much time but I promised that I would get back to "FANCY".

Fancy invited me to attend a "Cocktail Party", ugh! It would be a chance for her friends to meet me, double ugh! Plus it was in Rancho Santa Margarita of all places. I once had a shirt made that said on the back
I still don't and thought about it every time I drove to the "Fancy" household. It would be 78 in good ole HB and I would drive to Yorba Linda to pick Fancy up and by the time I arrived, easy 100 and this day was noooo different.
Of course I arrived a few minutes early, I called though wasn't going to do that make myself wait in the car thing, it was melty hot out. Had the air conditioner pointing at the flowers during the drive up so as not to have them wilt on me. She did the same crazy ritual with them, I swear on my first of many dead hamsters grave that it took a minimum of one full eternity this time.
Why can't I just turn and walk out the door, oh yeah that't right, I am a widower of a couple years whose wife was very ill for a very long time and that currently has no clue in Gods name as to what he is doing. He does know however that whatever it is that he is doing, he surely doesn't want to do it alone forever. There I said it, wasn't going to bring any of that into any of this dating thing and sorry for doing it, but not so much really; I was thinking Son of a Bitch these folks are going to think you are the biggest loser/pussy that ever walked the planet, well undeniably I was very close to it, but at least this leaves me the wiggle of room of guilty with an explanation.
Drove down on the toll road, it's always amazing to see how much open area still remains in California. Our annual California Fire storms were still in full swing and much of the area had been burned out. Lots of Black Rolling Hills but no Rocky Raccoon. As we neared our exit you could see the smoke. I thought to myself Inland-I don't get it.
Much to my surprise the Cocktail Party was at a small condo, one of Fancy's friends boyfriends house. His garage turned wine cellar was bigger than the rest of the condo..interesting. He had some nice vintage Pinot's and offered them up, best part of the night. None of the ladies had cocktail dresses on and no one was drinking cocktails.....oh with the exception of "Fancy" of course...cute little black cocktail dress and Cosmo in hand. I of course was way over dressed as well, hell I was specifically invited to a Cocktail party in what I was under the impression would be the affluent part of Rancho Santa Margarita. Most of the guys jammed in with there shorts and Haywain prints. Sheesh what a party.
Turns out that all of the women and a few of the men were all from New York and please don't get me wrong I love New York City, I mean I love to visit New York City. Stay at the Waldorf, shop, go to shows, Time Square, Little Italy to Lombardi's for Pizza, China Town and of course The Met...all that being said, when you are visiting Manhattan do you ever notice a heavy NY accent, I don't. Maybe in Long Island, Brooklyn, Staten Island, but not Manhattan. Well with each tick of the clock the accents got thicker, the conversation became oblique at best, and out of the middle of it all was a familiar tone, I focused for a moment as that was all I could stand to, yes right in the center holding court over the New York Accent club was all her glory, black Cocktail Dress and Pearls...was she wearing those when I picked her up? Really?
When all was said and done, I had done my part. Her friends thought the well dressed stranger was very polite, even a little dashing even. I should have worn an ascot that would of put me over the top for sure.
The drive home was seemingly never ending, Fancy recanted stories of her youth in Brooklyn, she talked of her first marriage(did she just say first), then about her brother that she hated, hey this is starting to get good...finally and then I almost drove off the toll road and killed us both when she said it, and she said it with all the earnestness at her command, she gathered herself and took my hand and said, "now Jim I have to tell you this to be fair to you". "I know what a battle you went thru taking care of your wife (Joanne was sick for 7 years with renal cell carcinoma), and well I have to tell you I have FIBROMYALGIA"...
I only had one experience with anyone claiming to have this undiagnosable disease, I used to say she had Fibromyasshurts because all she did was sit around on it. If they prove it I will forever be sorry, but kick me in the nuts when they do cause I want to feel their pain. Did she really just try and compare that to deny deny...she is slightly drunk...I will give her the benefit of the doubt, but can this really be her Disability, can they do that? How can an undiagnosable disease be connected to an undisclosed wrist head hurts.
God I wish this date was sorry but thought it was going to be, it was just a train wreck. I am a boy, I try to justify it all in my head, figure out what needs to be done to fix it.
Promise, funny next time.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

"POOL BOY" (something a little current)

I most certainly plan to continue on with the annals of my dating history but for the moment I needed to come up for a breath of fresh air. Hmmm, that fit quite nicely being that "a breath of fresh air" seems to be exactly at least the moment what I have found.

I recently succumbed to the pressure of my peers and went online to cast my lot, oh lordy me, that sounded so depressing, however nothing is either good or bad, we are just prisoners of our thoughts. Well of course I am paraphrasing but you get the idea.

So I had been doing this for a little over a month or so, went on a business trip and had pneumonia during that time span so no real earnest involved in the chase.

Recently however met someone I would certainly describe as at the very least a breath of fresh air. We e-mailed, instant messaged, I asked for her number, she obliged. That is how its done apparently. I called her, we chatted for an hour or so, brisk fluid conversation. No nimrod this lass and that is for certain, she was witty, charming, topical and very well spoken.

The next time I talked to her she made mention that I must be in the witness protection program because nothing came up when she googled me. Oh the times they are a changing. Of course I googled her back after hearing this , a little more thoroughly than she anticipated apparently.

I found something linking her to a blog, and guess what? The blog was a very keen insight into middle age dating from a woman's perspective. Her writing style is very John Irving like in that she is witty and sensible yet she maintains a fabulous eye for the absurd. I registered and got a blogger ID so that I could comment on it, using a Shakespearean quote as my tell.

The next time we spoke I told her of my find and she was (or at least seemed to be) very amused that I had made this discovery. She actually even suggested that I write a counterpoint to her blog, and poof I am here. She assured me if we were to ever actually go out she would not write about it.

I read her entire blog, everything, every last word of it that night. Very Very Funny...if you click on Love American Style under Some Beautiful Minds on my blog you can find out for yourself. I called her the next day and asked if she would meet me for a drink or dinner. She accepted.

She blogged about it the next day, ahahahahha dubbing me as "Pool Boy". I howled while reading it, and of course she even said hello to me towards the end, ,I howled again. She lorded on and on how the discovery was nothing short of a nightmare for her, at the same time making it seem as though Copernicus was in the house.

We were supposed to meet last weekend, but she had some plans she had forgotten and we decided to reschedule. I called her on Monday and we talked for 3 hours. I believe We have now firmed up our plans to meet and are set on a collision course for Saturday Night.

I have no expectations, other than I am sure this will be SUPER FUN. Que Sera Sera...

"Pool Boy" Indeed!!

Rest assured that come tomorrow we are back to "Fancy Nancy"

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

COME ON-A MY HOUSE, the Two Date Collage

Just so we are on the same page, all of this took place in 2007. We are trying to get current as fast as possible.

Come on-a My House" is a song by Rosemary Clooney from her album Come On-A My House, released on June 6, 1951. The song was written by Ross Bagdasarian and William Saroyan in summer of 1939 but did not become a hit until it's release by Clooney. It was probably Saroyan's only effort at popular songwriting, and it was one of Bagdasarian's few well-known works that was not connected to his most famous creation, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

A Day at the Beach (Fancy comes to Jim's House)

So "Fancy" came to my house and we cruised down to the sand. Just a few comments.

a. She refused to ride bikes "It's to far"( huh it's like two miles)
b. Her bathing suit was some type of animal print (just why, that's all?)
c. "Don't splash you will get may hair wet" (and?)
d. During lunch at Avila's El Ranchito "This salsa is hot" (you didn't just say that)

Dinner at "Fancy Nancy" House( a midweek extravaganza)

I drive over straight from my office, its only 10 minutes away. How convenient.

a. I stop and pick up Cold Stone Ice Cream for desert. (never show up empty handed.)
b. She has a pitcher of Cosmo's waiting (did i turn gay and no one told me)
c. I end up grilling the steaks (probably a good thing, more shall be revealed)
d. We discuss the TV shows she watches during dinner (I barely watch tv so this is actually somewhat interesting to me)

I have to say something RIGHT here RIGHT now, "Fancy" was telling me about a show where they build people houses, well the family that had the house built for them that week were infected with HIV, a couple had full blown AIDS...the whole family for gods sake, how unbelieveably sad is that. I believe she said there were 9 people in the family. I was in a state of horror....when with a completly straight face she said and I quote..."they were so lucky, you should have seen how nice the house" "I wish someone would build me a house like that" NOW why I didn't get up and walk out the door right then I do not know, in retrospect I am sooooo embarrassed that I didn't.

We had our ice cream, played a little kissy face and I went home...this time I was questioning my myself, but I was still feeling a little machismo all at the same time...a bit confusing to say the least, but as noted, I have not dated in a long long time....

Next Date Ti Amo and Laguna Beach Playhouse...Menopause the Musical...nice...

DATE 3: The Concert and OH those Lesbians

I am going to pick her up at her house this time, that makes it a real date for sure, very excited but still wondering why I can't remember what this lady looks like, very strange indeed.

Deliberated whether or not to pack a picnic for a few days, it is after all at the Hollywood Bowl but decided on a restaurant near her house, mainly for convenience (my own) and the fact that during our brunch date she seemed to be quite the finicky diner.

Stopped and picked up some flowers (never show up empty handed). No not roses, never roses the first time, or the second for that matter. A nice summery bouquet, filled with color, I have an excellent florist by the way should you be in need. I arrived in front of her house early, what a shocker that damn "aunt jim" thing. So I sat and waited until I could ring her bell precisely at 5:00.

I have to say I was once again surprised how nice she looked, when you can't remember I guess it's always a surprise. She was very appreciative of the flowers and gave me a little peck on the cheek, I figured that she would plop them in a vase and we would be off..WRONG...she proceeded to prune and arrange and rearrange and prune, after 10 minutes or so I wanted to scream "knock it off already" but I stood silent and eventually she was satisfied with her efforts and we were off.

I picked a little place only a few minutes away from her house called "The Wild Artichoke", I highly recommend it if you are ever stuck in Yorba Linda. She had never been there which seemed peculiar, its not like they have and array of fine dining in Yorba Linda.

Dinner was filled with lively conversation about her week, I didn't mention that she doesn't work did I? She is on disability for some sort of wrist thing (she was a bit evasive). She was/is a paralegal. Anyway I heard all about her hair and nail appointments, endless stories about shopping and lunches with her girl friends. I finally interrupted her with a "so are you familiar with Diana Krall?"

Off we went, I got an amazingly good parking spot at the Bowl. I always do, shhhh it's a secret but if you are willing to pay a little you can park at the VFW right next to the entrance. No waiting in or out. SWEET.

It was a perfectly gorgeous night, we leisurely strolled to our box. "Wow I never sat this close here before", oh good I like when people show appreciation and excitement. The Philharmonic was just walking out, I love the shows that are on the regular Bowl schedule because I love the orchestra....sue me.

A few minutes in, our box mates arrived. (If you are not familiar with the bowl, if you only get two box seats you share a small box with strangers, also the chairs are quite uncomfortable unless you rent a pad. I brought pads with me, cause I am a planner.) Well our seats were the back pair in the box so there was shuffling and moving to allow our box mates ample room to plop down in there uncomfy overpriced beach chairs.

At first I thought, they don't look like they would hang out together, one was petite and attractive, had a cute little sun dress on, the other had jeans and a chain wallet and her hair was cropped and oh dear lord, yes they do hang togther...ahahahahahahaha...I chuckled at how ridiculous my mind is sometimes. I have no problem with Lesbians, Gay Men, People of Color, anyone really, well maybe stinky bikers, well stinky anybody really. It just struck me funny as to what my first thought had been.

Well the "Fancy" one leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Oh my god, they are lesbians aren't they" as if we were sitting with Alkida or worse yet Democrats...things started to get interesting when the for lack of a better word "Butchy" one started catching a bit of a wine buzz. She started doing that really cool whistle, the one where you put your thumb and index finger in the corners of your mouth and its so loud it seems as if it could shatter glass, yeah that one...damn I wish i could do that. Well everytime she did it the cute one would lightly slap her on the knee or shoulder and tell her to stop and then "Butchy" would grab her and kiss her and tell her no. Causing the "Fancy" one to lean over and make a comment in my ear like for example "That is just sick", I wasn't quite sure if she was talking about the drunkenness the whistling or the Lesbian kissing and I wasn't going to either agree or ask her, I was finding the whole thing WAY to ENTERTAINING. I wish it had been going on while the Orchestra had played because I certain that it would have seemed like a scene from Fantasia, the three ladies and the man in the box dance...always the same..."Butchy" "Lipstick" "Fancy" "Butchy" "Lipstick" "Fancy" ALLEGRO please ladies, ALLEGRO...

Diana Krall was amazing, she has such a distinctive voice and can really turn the standards if you know what I mean. Knows how to tinkle those keys too...did you know she is married to Elvis Costello? I did, "Fancy" didn't but I bet you would have guessed that.

Concert was overall a rousing success with "Fancy" as well (with the exception of those Lesbians). Later she told me how open minded she is, that it was the behaviour that bothered her but me thinks not. "She doth protest to loudly"

They were working on the 5 on the way home so we got to spend an extra hour chatting about the concert and her kids, my kid, starting to actually get under the surface level a little. Well a lot if you count the Lesbian thing.

She invited me in for coffee, her house was immaculate. I kept looking for something dirty, anything dusty, even the water in the dogs bowl (shitsu of course) was clean...hmmmm.

Went to give her a hug goodnight after she walked me to the door and she planted one smack on the mouth. Oh so that's what that feels like, I kissed her back gently, she kissed me again. This is kind of nice, like riding a bike thank god. One more little peck and a thank you I had a great time and out the door I went.

WHOOHOOO....YOU DID IT JIM was the first thought I had when I closed the car door. I have no idea why I thought that, or what it was I thought I DID, but that was my thought.

What's next the Beach/Ti Amo/The Theatre well all that and more very soon....

Monday, September 8, 2008

"FANCY NANCY" or Jim's first dates in Forever

They are called SET UP's for a reason.

I had not been on a date in a blue moon, eon, coons age...and or any other number of allegorical terms realting to the measure of time. The reason being is explained somewhere in the world, and of that I am sure, this however is neither the time nor the place.

Date One: Group situation, meeting and greeting.

Took off work early, showered up, shaved twice (a bizzare habit I picked up when thinking romance was in the air, certainly not needed in this case but I am a boy), changed a couple of times, inspected my car, my shoes and of course my hair.

HB Pier or bust, the meeting/date was set for Chimayo (used to be below Dukes at the HB pier). I of course was early, "Aunt Jim" as some of my friends refer to me, is always early...waited around for a while. The gal that "ARRANGED" the date finally showed up with her friend so we ordered a cocktail. Shortly afterwards the lady soon to be known as "FANCY NANCY" made her entrance.

Low and behold she was better looking than the picture I had seen. The conversation while a tad canned was nice. We learned a lttle about each other for a while and then the kids left (my friend that did the setup was 25, she used to work for me) and we were on our own.

I asked her if she would like to go for a stroll, she agreed faster than my minature dachshund does, we headed down mainstreet...While crossing I took her hand, it actually felt nice and she did not object..I had not held hands in a long time. This human contact thing is kind of nice, hmmm. As we talked without the music and chatter of the Bar I detected a touch of a Brooklyn accent. I ignored it, no sense spoiling the evening over something so contrite.

We strolled around downtown HB, I bought her a piece of chocolate at Rocky Mountain and we had coffee at Starbucks. We walked back and the valet got our respective cars...I asked her for her phone number and bingo, SUCCESS. I was king of the hill, top of the heap, A number one.....LAUGHED to myself the whole drive home.

Date Two: Jazz it up

While discussing music on date one "Fancy Nancy" told me she like listening to The Wave...I do like Jazz myself not neccesarily the watered down version that the wave plays to many of but hey...I am nothing if not a good sport.

I made reservations for the Wave Sunday Brunch at Spaghetinni and picked up the phone...jesus do I really have to call her? How does this work? Oh dear, I am clueless wait...remember what Dickie Bird told you...(my grandfather preferred to be called Dickie Bird) , always call when you say you will, never show up early without calling, never show up late. never show up empty handed, open doors, pull out chairs, either offer an arm or hold her hand when crossing the street or going up or down stairs...god I feel like crying I miss that man sooooooo much. I suddenly felt like hey I can do this....revitalized by my visit from the grave I was now consumed with the spirit of the little street car that could. It was a very comforting feeling.

She was very jazzed, so to speak to get the call and the date for Sunday was on.

She lived in Yorba Linda and it was the first real date so we agreed to meet at the restaurant. We arrived almost simotaneously, she looked better than the first time, I think she did...funny thing though in between dates unless I looked at her picture I couldn't remember what she looked I have a great memory..I mean really great memory so this was odd. Won't bore you with all the details, the burnch is actually very good and the music was nice, they have a great house band so you don't have to listen to what the DJ is spinning on the WAVE...( i hear that bad commercial everytime i say that ...94.7 the WAVE.) We stayed for quite a while moving into the Bar after we ate, we went out on the patio when the band was done and then a drive down to Seal Beach in my convertable, I had my other car for the first date so she was impressed, gotta show off right......More walking hand holding, this time cookie eating and espresso...we were escalating the relationship......oh I forgot to mention that I had taken the liberty of puchasing a couple nice tickets at the Hollywood Bowl for Diana Krall...just in case things went well...(planning is one of my talents). When we got back to the cars I pulled the tickets out and asked her if she would like to go with me...and she made this yelping noise..was that a Brooklyn thing agian cause this could be the start of the end...not that I am picky or anything.

Don't believe I mentioned that even in my hay day, I was never much of a serial dater...always prefered to concentrat on one woman at a time and really see if anything developed or if I could get something to was always a very thin line in that respect when I was younger, we boys lie to ourselves sometimes no matter what our intentions that kinda of makes it like the truth right? We just honestly don't know what we are doing sometimes..Guilty with an explanation so to speak...

Will wrap it up for now....should be able to get thru this in a couple three more posts...just wanted to set the starts to get interesting fast and the unveiling of "Fancy Nancy" is yet to come...

Date 3: The Concert and oh those Lesbians..

Friday, September 5, 2008


Bollocks you ask? see below...the multiplicity is facinating.

"Bollocks" is a word of Anglo Saxon origin, meaning "testicles". The word is often used figuratively in English, as a noun to mean "nonsense", an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, or an adjective to mean "poor quality" or "useless". Similarly, the common phrases "Bollocks to that!" or "That's a load of old bollocks" express a distaste for a certain task, subject or opinion. Conversely, the word also figures in idiomatic phrases such as "the dog's bollocks" and "top bollock", which express the opposite, namely admiration, pleasure or approval.

A very new friend suggested that pehaps I write a counterpoint to her views, comments and experiencs with the middle-age dating thing. Being that I am fortunate enough to have crossed over fools hill, I no longer view suggestions as a direct insult to my interlligence, masuclinity, social and or economic status and thus decided to take her up on it. (see bullocks for that).

Now, with that being said would I REALLY REALLY be doing this if the she involved were not witty, charming and attractive. DUH NO of course not, I am afterall a boy and well.....boys are like that... we just that will be the common thread, why we do what we do and how come YOU don't get it.

Episode One

"FANCY NANCY" or Jims first dates in forever.

I will explain and disclose everything, but not this second....I have to collect my thoughts review my memories and most importantly, beat the traffic.